Posted: 07 May
Have you ever asked yourself this question?
Probably not.
If you met you at a party would you like yourself?
Would you make a great impression on you?
Take some time to think about it.
Ponder it on a scale of 0-10.
0 being you don’t like yourself at all and 10 being you thoroughly love yourself.
What is it that makes somebody like themselves?
Is it a flourishing career?
Financial success?
A great body?
A loving family?
Lots of expensive toys?
A large social circle?
How do you decide??
Whenever I ask my clients this question they’re stumped.
Most people have never given it much (if any) thought.
Unless they hate themselves in an utterly defeatist way or they absolutely love themselves in a conceited, narcissistic way (which means underneath they hate themselves too) they’ve just never thought about it consciously.
But the answer to this question is so important, because in my opinion, liking yourself is vital for TRUE happiness.
What are the qualities that you admire?
This is different for all of us, usually based on our upbringing.
Some people greatly admire academic ability, some physical prowess, for others it’s all about how financially secure you are or how popular a person.
It’s not an easy one to tie down because we’re all so unique.
Another way to think of this question is how high is your self-esteem.
Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself overall; how much esteem, positive regard or self-love/worth you have. The word “esteem” means to regard highly or favourably.
Your self-esteem and self-image shape every single area of your life.
Every one.
Your career, your health, your finances and your relationships.
Outwardly you may be very successful, but still have low self-esteem and not like yourself much at all.
A difficult childhood can give you an incredible drive to prove yourself, so you really “succeed” in life, but deep down you never really like the person that you are.
Secretly you may feel flawed or “wrong” in some way and that means you never really outgrow those childhood difficulties.
They just get buried as you get busy. The coping strategies you developed to survive childhood may be tripping you up as an adult.
If you’re a logical person you probably don’t think about your feelings or emotions much at all, you just get on with the job at hand.
If an uncomfortable feeling pops up, you just push it aside and get busy with something else.
This is a mistake because your emotional wellbeing is every bit as important as your physical or mental wellbeing and should be given just as much attention.
So back to the question…
You could sit down with pen and paper (I’m an old-fashioned girl) and give yourself a score out of 10 for all of your main characteristics.
Personality, financial status, intelligence, physical appearance, status/standing and character…
OR you could just pick a number off the top of your head.
The second method will probably be more accurate.
(Your subconscious mind doesn’t miss a trick and will give you a very accurate score without any conscious help at all).
Whatever the score you come up with it’s always possible to improve it.
(Unless of course you’re a perfect 10)!
Anything less than a 3 – definitely needs some attention.
Anything less than a 5 – you’re leaving some happiness on the table.
7 or more – you’re doing well but there’s always room for improvement.
It’s simple. Up your score and you improve your happiness levels.